I commented on a post about menopause and the responses were not kind. I stand by it.

I commented recently on a post about HRT and menopause – specifically, women being ignored by their doctors and HRT as THE solution for their symptoms. It did not go down well.

I said that alongside HRT, nutrition, lifestyle and movement matter too. That there are other things you can do yourself.

Apparently I had missed the point, I don’t understand how hard it is, and on top of that, I was dismissing women’s suffering.

Let me tell you where I am actually coming from.

My perimenopause

At my worst I had headaches 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I went to sleep with one and woke up with one. I was taking NSAIDs like they were vitamins. Brain fog so thick I had to write down what I said, what someone else said, what I decided two hours ago. I walked into rooms and stood there with no idea why. Although eating the same I had for years, my weight kept going up. My lack of energy as well.

I know what it feels like.

What I did about it

At some point I understood that taking only HRT would not get me where I wanted to go. I wanted to be fit. I took on a nutrition and training coach, because the financial commitment would make me engage in a way I wouldn’t alone. I take HRT still, and it helps with the headaches and sleep. With my coach I changed what I ate, how much and when, and started to understand my relationship with food. I started strength training. I wanted to do 3 times a week, my coach said I could do 4. Ok, 4 it is. I started running. First 1 minute running, 2 minutes walking. I ran my first 5k within 30 minutes, 9 weeks later.

From 83 to 58 kg. Resting heart rate from 80 to 55. I run half marathons now. The mental challenge alone is worth it.

HRT is one of the tools. A necessary one for many, if you choose to take it as I do. But there was more I could do. The other things are the ones that make me proud and strong. The salads. Waking up early to train before work. Leaving the wine behind. The phone away an hour before bed. Those define me and the woman I am still becoming.

What I was actually saying

So when I said that alongside HRT, nutrition, lifestyle and movement matter too, I was not dismissing your suffering. I lived it. I was saying that the suffering is real and you are not powerless inside it.

If you have been told for years that your symptoms were in your head, I understand why you are angry. The medical system has failed a lot of women and that deserves to be said out loud. It needs to change.

But there is a difference between acknowledging that the system failed you and deciding that your only move is to fight the system. You can be furious at your doctor and still wake up 45 minutes earlier to do 30 minutes of strength training and eat a protein rich breakfast.

Choose one thing or as many as you can carry. Start there.

That is what I said. I stand by it.