A client told me this week that her friend didn’t want to start my program because her family (read: husband) would not eat the “diet” food. So I think it’s time we address this topic. And I can already tell you that I had to cross this exact threshold myself when I started my own coaching some years ago. In my case, it was all in my head, my own mind playing games with me and handing me excuses.
The Real Issue
She knows she has put herself in second place for years. And now she can no longer ignore it. There is something else at play. Her environment is used to her as she is. So is her partner. Change means disrupting the balance they have built together. Sometimes she feels that her partner finds it easier if she stays the way she is, which is understandable. Not out of malice. Simply because change also means something to him.
So, what is real and what is not?
Of course, it is understandable and desirable that when you want to make changes in your lifestyle, the people close to you support you. On the other hand, it is your life and your body, not theirs. Their opinion is as important as you allow it to be.
What Actually Happens
I have a few clients who don’t cook themselves most of the time. Their partners or their children do. This surprised me, because around here, I cook and take care of the laundry (when I get to it) and he does the rest. Yes, all the rest, and no, we don’t have help 🙄. It’s a long story, but the owner of the vacuum cleaner is my hubby.
Anyway, my clients who don’t cook are in a way at the mercy of whatever gets cooked for dinner, so it can be disappointing when they are trying to address certain eating patterns and that is not supported. We discuss different options: cooking something completely different for themselves, eating only part of what the family eats and supplementing with x, y, z that supports their goals, teaching the cook to prepare at least part of the meal in a way that supports their efforts, and so on. Whichever way they adopt has to feel easy in the flow of the family, and that is up to them to experiment with and implement.
Who Actually Succeeds
I have been lucky. I know others have much more complex relationships. When one person changes, in whatever way, the dynamics change, and not everyone in the relationship is waiting for that, especially when they are not the one bringing the change in.
The great thing about DEBs WAY is that we work out together what is your way, one that works for you to achieve your goals on your terms and at your own pace.
In the meantime, the client who asked me to write about this also told me that her partner has gone shopping for new belts. Since she started my program he has lost so many centimetres from his waist that every belt he owns is now too big. Win-win all around.
The women who are most successful have a partner who embraces the change and perhaps adjusts something themselves.
If you want to get a clear picture of where you stand and what your next move should be, book a discovery call where we can discuss DEBs WAY 8-weeks program or try DEBs WAY Insight: it’s a simple, no-pressure way to clear any doubt about how good your nutrition, movement and lifestyle support a healthy life.
